About 7 or 8 years ago, the Board of Ordained Ministry gave the folks studying for ordination a little bit of money left over from the monies set aside for educational events. What they did not spend they divided among us. I guess they did that for three years; I was able to buy some book sets that have served me well: Owens' Analytical Key to the Old Testament; Ante- and Post-Nicene Fathers; and The Works of John Wesley.
Over about two years, I read the first two volumes of John Wesley, excerpts from his journals from 1735 to 1760. I had not looked at them in a while. I want share a few things from them that I marked up.
Jim Griffith, a church planter and consultant has been saying, as have many others, that the days are demanding apostolic leaders. Griffith said the eBay book on apostolic leadership is Wesley's Journals. He was an apostolic leader.
On his return voyage to England from America in 1738, Wesley had some soul-searching thoughts. On his voyage to America, he had total fear during some storms, and he was troubled that he was so afraid of dying. And in America, he had a really hard time. He hoped to convert the Indians, but had no success. He wondered who would convert him?
On the boat back to England, he wrote, "by the most infallible proofs, inward feeling, I am convinced,
1. Of unbelief; having no such faith in Christ as will prevent my heart from being troubled; which it could not be, if I believed in God
2. Of pride throughout my life past, inasmuch as I thought I had what I find I do not have
3. Of gross irrecollection; inasmuch as in a storm I cry to God every moment, but in calm, I do not
4. Of levity and luxuriance of spirit, recurring whenever the pressure is off, and appearing by my speaking words that do not edifying; but most by my manner of speaking of my enemies.
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On two occasions in February of 1738, Wesley was asked to preach. On Feb 4, he preached at St John the Evangelist's on "if any man be in Christ, he is a new creation." He comments, "I was afterward informed that many of the influential people in the church were so offended that I was not to preach there anymore."
On the 12th, he preached at St. Andrews on "if I give all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not love...". Wesley says, "here, too it seems, I am to preach no more."
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